| Finding a balance | |
| To find an equilibrium point in life- work n leisure, family n friends, social n personal... Still searching. Still learning. Still growing. | |
Some scribbles of thoughts Some doodles of mind Some sketches of life Some jottings of feelings |
Saturday, February 28, 2004 thanks rocky... for simple words which touches the heart most. QUOTE: Emotions such as anger, gladness, dissatisfaction, jealousy are there to serve their own purposes. We shall all notice them and take good treat of them. If doubt, please, die and reborn again" thanks MJ n KC... you guys make me feel at home again... a simple dinner, a nice chat, and a heart that cares... love n care heal the tired soul very well. thanks... thanks CA... for again giving me strength n encouragement to go on, especially when i m too tired to even continue... thanks for the words "when u r tired, stop, rest, n do the thing u think is the most important. the find ur footing and stand up again." thanks mum... for simple but meaningful words "have a break. have a kit kat" i realize, although life is cold, ppl are realistic, i shouldn't discard my own compassion, and principles. trying to live like city ppl, is hard. i made a mistake of trying to adapt to individualism. n felt so bad for discarding my own values. living according to own principles, and heart, is possible. I may lose out a bit, but i should be satisfied that i have done what i think i want to do. i felt the care n compassion again at today's dinner. ppl from different countries... taiwan, hong kong, malaysia... can just get along very well... n care about each other... every single small matter, every simple gesture, counts. i will be myself. the one who lives a happy life, with contentment, with gratitude, and with compassion. the one back in sp. posted at 23:30
QUOTE from SMS from home... mama said: how's ur first aid course? how r u coping with ur tasks n responsibilities? take it easy. have a break, have a kit kat. Mama is waiting for your homecoming. take care. You you said: I have just borrowed a game disk from my fren. it's ......Empire Earth, art of conquest expansion n i m looking forward to the computer repair. anyway, i love you! (thnx mum... thnx you you.... miss u all.... cant wait to come home...) posted at 11:22
thnx sin sin 4 making me feel like myself again... talked for 3 hrs again (shit credit running low..) ... about life.. about ppl... about money... about survival... discovered we both face the same problem n dilemma n confusion... why are so many ppl so cold blooded? why are city ppl are so not care about things except themselves... why is everything so money-oriented?... she faced the same prob... being looked down by rich, being teased for being very kampung-ish, being looked weirdly for being compassionate or care about ppl, being disapproved for trying to help out friends... we suddenly found out so many similarities n share so much outlook... how can anyone not care about things other than themselves? how can money be the sole determinant in life? how can most ppl wear mask whole day long n still survive? how can ppl be so fake all the time? but comparing the population, we r the ODD ones actually... maybe we r too ke poh.. maybe we r too kampung... maybe we r too old fashion maybe we lack survival skills.. maybe we should just stay in sp but her words make ke feel myself again.. i can choose to live my own way having someone who uphold same principle n outlook makes me feel less lonely we may be deemed by others as idiots who can be easily bullied or old fashion ppl who is not worth a thing but at least we live as we want to n feel we hav follow our heart, do the right thing... but nevertheless, we still need to learn to protect ourselves in a world which is very realistic, cold, cruel sinsin, we need to pray 4 each other.. to be able to maintain self in a world filled with influences to uphold principles in a deceiving environment to survive in a place full of challenges it feels good to have a heart-to-heart talk to someone who actually cares posted at 02:01
weather is cold... city is cold... ppl are cold... life is cold... london is cold... miss the time chatting with family back at home miss the time doing gardening with dad miss the time cooking with mum miss the time playing computer with bro miss the time cycling with bro, jogging, swimming with bro miss the time 5-star touring in penang miss the time talk whole night in yiing's apt miss the time just sitting in jubli perak miss the time climbing hill, playing tennis miss the time chor tai ti in 141 miss the time lepaking at tijuana's corner miss the time going to taylor's toilet when 141 water shortage miss the time swimming in middle of night miss the time playing NFS with yy n lis... miss the time raising fund n stuff at tc miss the time visiting ah po miss the time sitting at cha fang listening gu zhen miss the time watching super sunday miss the time eating ice at 2nd street miss the time haivng tea at 'under the tree' miss the time of silence at snail bistro miss the time walking to school miss the time struggle for campfire miss the time of gathering at caveman miss the time lying down in front of house n see stars miss the time talking whole nite miss the time in malaysia... n everything... there comes a time where we hav to grow up n face the reality, the cruelty of life money, status, work leave the memories behind, let the passion die be realistic, be practical stay strong, keep cool protect self, continue life where has my compassion gone? where has my care gone? where has my dreams gone? where has my strength gone? life life life life life ppl ppl ppl ppl ppl i m still a dreamer posted at 00:50
Thursday, February 26, 2004 oops i hav really gone overboard now... should not swear like mad... what hav i done... think must be tired liao.. n cannot stand constant irritating noise buzzing in ears. amitofo... should just ignore the previoius message... a suddent burst of anger... bad karma... amitofo... dont care about unnessary stuff la... have better things to do with my life instead of being 'beh tahan' with unworthy ppl... n i should not have bias towards her. should try to look at her good side too.. will try... posted at 23:19
how boring a conversation can be... can't believe how boring and wu liao conversation can be... it's like has nothing at all to talk about... no brain chat... if dun have topic to chat about, fine... i can put up with silence.. but FOR GOD SAKE PLEASE!!! talking about the same thing over n over n over n over again is stupid n boring~!! sometimes i wonder whether she has any topic that she can really talk about, instead just talking rubbish.. or talking some topics that are so common that i cannot stand... or just agreeing to anything that ppl say it is so bloody lame... or keep being pat kuah like nobody business... thinking this is fun? it just make the whole thing so monotonous.. i can really get sick of the same old supposedly joke and die... get some new idea n some new topic to talk about la.. it's not like have no knowledge about anything else... n plz la... who r u to complain about have to save or wat... i m the one broke n no money padahal u can spend without thinking.. n STOP asking me why dont i buy this n that or why i dont eat choclate although i love it so much! i am BROKE OK... n plz~ ur pat kuah ness has really get on my nerves! how can anyone go on n on n on n on although ppl has shown impatience with u... bloody hell...n sick jokes again n again is simply making me muntah.. maybe i should just go to sleep. or maybe i should just stop cooking. posted at 23:08
Wednesday, February 25, 2004 havent been updating blog for days... everyday is so tired n ended up sleeping as soon as came back to room.... sad case... dun even have time to sit down n do things that i really been doing... sleep wake up rush ... life haha... all the whirl of activities are going on... n on ... n more comoing... m i drowning? haha... afternoon quite nice.. got a chance to go back to temple n play music again... once more i can indulge in my piano... although not many ppl would enjoy just playing piano in an empty room... miss my piano.... havent touched it for nearly half a year... miss my home... havent seen it for half a year... dunno how is SA liao... hope she's ok... posted at 23:15
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